Random Thoughts I’ve Had While Running

It’s probably not small secret that I enjoy running, in that I tell everyone I meet I enjoy running.[1] Heck, I even have material based off of it, which doesn’t do very well considering most of my shows are in smoking basement bars. Fun fact- every minute of running I’ve done is counteracted by every two minutes spent performing.[2] Regardless, the common response I get whenever I tell someone that I enjoy running is, “why?” Why, indeed. It could just be that I enjoy being able to walk up the mandatory 5 flights of stairs to my apartment without being winded. It could also have to do with my love for food and my desire not to be chubby- again.[3] But realistically, it has more to do with the fact that although I may experience an extreme hatred for myself during the first few minutes when I actually start running, I eventually get into the groove and am able to have some of the clearest thoughts I am capable of having. It is during this time that I am able to turn off my brain and really think. Here are some of my thoughts:


Oh God, I’m never doing this again…

I wonder how my form is? I’ve been having knee problems, maybe this is why. No, now I’m thinking about it, and it’s ok. Weird.

I was supposed to do something, what was it… something related to school…


I don’t get it. I can’t stand listening to Pitbull unless I’m running. Weird.

It’s a shame Chris Brown is an abusive dickhead, I really liked “Forever”. It’s wrong that THIS is the reason why it’s a shame. Seriously, why is it he’s even allowed to record anything after what he did? Why am I having this debate, no one’s going to hear it… oh.

Only in my neighborhood do the kids make fun of you when you run.


Ow, ow, ow, ow… ah… ow, ow, ow, ow…


Why did I even bring my sunglasses, I hardly need them…


I should really look at expanding the “my time is worth €3.60” bit. There’s a lot there. Should maybe lose the “I don’t need to speak German, just look German” bit, I think I borrowed that from someone…

Right, I needed to transfer money! AND buy bus tickets! OH SHIT! Better remember that.

Do I sweat more than the average person? I really feel like I do. Maybe I’m just not used to the humidity. Weird.


Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow… ah… Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…


Well this isn’t too bad at all. I feel like I could do another kilometer. Next time.

What was I supposed to remember? Eh, I’ll figure it out next time.

Fuck yeah, Rammstein.[4]

Ugh, I could drink a whole liter of Coca Cola right now. I have no idea why.


Oh God, I’m never doing this again…



[1] Oh God, I’m that guy, aren’t I?

[2] It’s not a fact; it’s bullshit.

[3] 200 likes on my Facebook page and pictures of chubby George will be revealed! https://www.facebook.com/schorschicomedy


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