Tag Archives: Germany

The Flirty Hausmeister- An Erotic Story

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(For a friend)

Kate was cold, tired, and alone. It had been many long nights since her apartment had heating, and while this was tolerable during the summer months, it was now well into winter. Bundled under a knitted wool quilt and clutching a cup of Earl Grey, she watched as the snow drifts began to gather outside her window.

“Great,” she thought, “Another frigid night in frigid Germany. Just my luck.”

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Should I Go to the German Doctor? A Chart

Getting sick is never great, and neither is hauling yourself out of bed to go to the doctor. In Germany it gets a lot more fun- especially when the default solution seems to always be homeopathic! Heck, you might as well just stay in bed! But how do you navigate this difficult decision? Fortunately for you, I’ve made a handy chart which should help!

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“Immigrant” vs “Expat”: Coming to Terms

 

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The world we live in is getting increasingly smaller. Whether it’s your shoes made in China, your power produced in Norway, or your phone “designed” in California, globalization is an increasingly apparent fact with which some people are now struggling. Because with that globalization comes people moving between borders and the internationalization of our cultures. Immigration is a hot button issue for many, but why is it okay for certain people to live abroad? Don’t the same rules apply? I’ve written before about my opinion regarding the terms “immigrant” vs “expat”– and this is how I imagine the argument would go.

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George Schorschi’s Guide to German Cuisine: Part 1

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When I first moved to Germany, I made a promise that each time I went to the supermarket or went to dinner, I would try something new. While that has led to some very interesting experiences (mostly involving the discovery that apparently in Germany, all you need to make a food is a noun and the word “salat” after it), it’s also lead to the discovery of some favorites- and some mistakes. Here’s a few of each.

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5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Studying in Germany

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Every few months or so, the same news story begins to pop up, declaring how thousands of Americans are moving to Germany to study for “free”. Following this, the same comments are made about how terrible the university system in the US is and how amazing it would be to skip the crippling debt from student loans. And then of course the questions on the forums appear: American students asking how hard it would be to move to Germany and find a room. But the question that rarely gets asked is, “how hard is it to complete a degree in Germany as an international student?” Now for the record, studying abroad is a fantastic experience. I highly encourage everyone to do it if they feel up to the challenge. But speaking as an American who went through the experience of completing a 4 year program as an international student, here’s five things I wish I had known before even applying.

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Odds for Eurovision Song Contest 2016 Ridiculousness

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Get ready, Europe (and Australia, somehow)! This Saturday it’s time for EUROVISION, that magical TV event where only the best performers from the continent get together to honor the ancient gods of music, ABBA. If you haven’t seen it before- it’s a bit like American Idol, except instead of having to impress three judges you have to impress the entire European population. Each group represents their country and then patiently waits in the “VIP Lounge” for the scores to come in. Who will win? Well you can find the odds for that here– but WHO CARES?! The real reason we watch Eurovision is for the ridiculousness which comes with it. And so, for that reason, I present to you the odds for Eurovision Song Contest 2016 Ridiculousness!

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An Ode to Herrentag

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Today’s the day- no, not Ascension Day. That’s right, it’s Herrentag! Also known as Vatertag, the German Father’s Day is when German men and teenage boys grab their beer, throw it in a cart, and then go on a drunken hike in the woods- as MEN! Just as Ascension Day marks the time when Jesus returned to his Holy Father, Herrentag is a day to celebrate being a father by historically giving the man with the most children a large piece of ham. Indeed, this is a day for just men- no girls allowed. Curious? I was, too! Until I participated myself and wrote this poem about my experience. Please, enjoy!
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Lesser Known Ritter Sport Chocolate Flavors

Ritter Sport: A treat so tasty, people are willing to overlook the irony in putting the word “sport” anywhere near a chocolate bar. By creating inspired, delicious tasting combinations, Ritter Sport has stood above the rest of the German chocolate companies for this American. Whether it is coconut, chocolate mousse, or wild berry yogurt, you’re sure to find a Ritter Sport you love- or hate. Because for every coconut, chocolate mousse, or wild berry yogurt, there’s also a buttermilk lemon, cornflakes, or tortilla chips. Why, God? Why tortilla chips? In Germany?

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Abomination.

But did you know there are other flavors which didn’t make the cut? Well! I am pleased to share with you a list of some of the little known Ritter Sport flavors- enjoy! PS Ritter Sport- If any of these are made, I have my eye on you.

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The Böhmermann Affair: One Small Step For Jan, One Giant Leap for German Comedy

 

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Congratulations, Germany! While you have been notoriously known for lacking a sense of humor and having seriously terrible comedy, you’re finally in the big leagues. The Böhmermann Affair is your chance to shine- a satirical piece which criticized a foreign leader, tested the boundaries of an outdated law, AND has gained worldwide attention! This is an amazing opportunity not just for your culture, but also for your country, to break the stereotypes holding it back and really make a mark- so let’s make sure you don’t screw it up.

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Interview with a Spargeler: All About Spargelzeit

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Lately you may have noticed a few posters in the windows of German shops announcing the approach of that special time of year. Yes indeed, Spargelzeit is coming! And while we prepare for an onslaught of stands offering to sell this white asparagus at bargain prices, you may be wondering- what exactly is Spargel? Why is it so special? What’s the big idea? With this in mind I sat down with self-proclaimed Spargel expert, Herr Johann Spargelbach, to find out more about this German tradition.

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